Bachelor in Paradise 2018 Week 5 Recap: Tia, Colton, a Proposal, Babies, and a Witch

Bachelor in Paradise 2018 Week 5 Recap: Tia, Colton, a Proposal, Babies, and a Witch

Welcome everyone! Grab your umbrella drink and settle in, because we have five hours of Bachelor in Paradise 2018 to break down today, and a whole lot of big changes went down in those hours for our bachelors and bachelorettes. Eric changing his mind about Angela and accepting a date from Cassandra has everyone worried that their beach mate is hiding their true feelings. Two unlucky established couples turn out to be right in having that concern, and receive the key to the city of Splitsville for their sharp intuition. Elsewhere, new arrivals complicate other relationships (you're shocked, we know), and there's even a proposal right there on the beach. Oh also, maybe some curses and witchcraft? Just typical beach resort stuff. Watch Bachelor in Paradise Week 5, Part 1 and Bachelor in Paradise Week 5, Part 2 right here on ABC.com or in the ABC app, or read on for this week's highlights!

Colton and Tia Get Off the Rollercoaster

It's actually been a minute since we heard from Tia and Colton. They got coupled up in Week 3, and since then they've been quiet. And apparently, they were even quiet with each other about their feelings, because Eric's waffling has an effect on Colton, it seems. Tia and Colton have never quite gotten the timing right, but now that they have, Colton feels like this situation just isn't right:

To be fair to Colton, he was honest, and this time he seems very sure of his decision. That doesn't make it suck any less for poor Tia, who immediately packs her bags and leaves Paradise. Everyone is stunned. Chelsea oddly and medievally declares that "Paradise has been shooketh." Quite right, m'lady.

Everyone is shook but John, who apparently slept through the whole thing:

Amazing. Little bit worrisome that John seems to think they're prisoners of the resort or something, but otherwise—amazing.

And of course, now we know what's next: Colton Underwood is the next Bachelor for 2019!

Eric's Changing Tune

When Eric returns from his date with Cassandra, he finds a hurt and angry Angela. Angela maintains that just last night, she and Eric agreed they were all in on each other, and wouldn't accept any dates from newcomers—and then in the morning, Eric did just that. The two of them have an awkward conversation where Eric reveals that he just felt like Angela wasn't being open enough with him. Angela then has a conversation with Cassandra, and tells her the whole story, and now Cassandra isn't sure if Eric is being honest with her:

Cassandra now feels their budding relationship is "tarnished." Eric basically broke up with Angela for Cassandra, but now it looks like that door might be closing too. Good thing he's got the rose this week. 

A Million (Okay, Four) New Arrivals

Paradise was due for a new arrival, and Shushanna shows up with a date card to shake things up. She even comes with the old "I'm not here to make friends" line as we meet her. Before everyone can figure out what she's going to do with her date, ANOTHER new arrival shows up: Christen, affectionately known in Bachelor Nation as Scallop Fingers. (Here's Wells giving a recap of how Christen became Scallop Fingers.) Turns out the two of them are going to double date it today. Christen picks John, which has Olivia a bit ruffled, and Shushanna picks Kamil, which sends Annaliese into a full tailspin. Upon return, Kamil assures Annaliese that there wasn't a connection with Shushanna (despite smooching her a few times) and that he's still interested in pursuing things with Annaliese, so the tears do eventually stop. 

But there's one more pair of folks coming down the stairs: Paradise alums Ashley I. and Jared. They've had themselves quite a long and storied ride over the years, but now, they're dating and serious, a success story. How serious? THIS SERIOUS:

So, yeah—pretty serious. Did you catch Yuki calling her "Always Crying Ashley"? Jenna, for one, is very inspired by their love story:

Rosepocalype Now

Chris Harrison always (correctly) promises the most dramatic Bachelor finales ever, and we're sure Chris would definitely call this the most dramatic Rose Ceremony ever. Because, first off, what kind of crazy Rose Ceremony STARTS with a curveball? Before things get going, there's one more guy arriving in Paradise!

"But how?" you say! "He won't have time to make any connections!" But by that point, Jordan Mauger, from Bachelor New Zealand and Bachelor Winter Games, has already entered the palapa. And he's got a rose, so he'll be giving one lucky lady a second chance. Also, he boldly states, "I'm not here to [bleep] spiders," which is apparently New Zealand slang for "I'm not here to mess around." New Zealanders apparently equate taking things lightly with the stuff of nightmares, so that's a fun fact for you today.  

Here's where the roses went:

Kevin --> Astrid

Jordan --> Jenna

Chris --> Krystal

Joe --> Kendall

Eric --> Cassandra

Jordan M --> Shushanna

John --> Olivia

Kamil --> Annaliese

The aftermath is the rough part, as no one takes it especially well here:

So Chelsea, Christen, and Angela say their farewells this week. Hopefully the morning will be quieter.

The Morning Is Not Quieter

Chris Harrison rolls into the resort first thing in the morning, which usually means something's up, and it is: Carly and Evan, and Jade and Tanner—both couples as a result of Paradise— are here. They bring their babies to show off the fact that Paradise can work if you're looking for love. And they've got an epic date card, the most fun, relaxing package Paradise has ever seen. They interview all the couples to see who is most worthy of this amazing date. They settle on Joe and Kendall. The twist: Carly, Evan, Jade and Tanner are going on the epic date, and Joe and Kendall have won the honor of babysitting duty. So for Joe and Kendall, it was definitely not a relaxing date, unless you love endlessly wailing babies:

Elsewhere on the beach, Eric is regretting his choice to let Angela go, and now he's ready to pack it in: 

In happier news, Chris gets a date card and takes Krystal. They each express their love for each other on the date, so it seems like this relationship is officially full steam ahead. What say you?

The Witch Sitch

Here's where things start getting weird. Despite Kamil giving his rose to Annaliese and telling Shushanna he didn't think they had a connection, Kamil says he keeps finding Shushanna staring at him. Jordan M got a date card and asked Shu, and she said no, because she's still into Kamil. Shu pulls Kamil away to chat, and when he says he's not into her, she says she doesn't believe him. She also says she likes a challenge. A rumor goes around that she burned a photo of Kamil in the fire as part of some ritual. Kamil doesn't find it endearing, and Annaliese DEFINITELY isn't into this. Watch Annaliese confront Shushanna about it:

It doesn't seem to make much of an impression on Shu, because soon, Diggy comes walking into the Paradise, date card in hand, and he asks Shu on the date, and...she turns him down too. Why? Kamil. 

Meanwhile, Jordan M is having fun with Cassandra on his date...and somehow, Shushanna realizes that she made a mistake in turning down the date with Jordan. Suddenly, Shu is over Kamil. Done. Now she's into Jordan.

When Jordan comes back, Shu grabs him to tell her that she realized that she's totally into him. Jordan is confused:

With the finale rapidly approaching, what's next for Shushanna? Will she find a new connection? We'll find out next week! Here's a preview of what's to come on the season finale of Bachelor in Paradise 2018:

Here's your preview of Bachelor in Paradise Week 6 - Season Finale

Tune in MONDAYS & TUESDAYS 8|7c to see more Bachelor in Paradise.