Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Kirk & Carly Break Up

Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Kirk & Carly Break Up

Okay guys, we’re going to blast through this Bachelor in Paradise recap, because obviously you just need to get ready for the Bachelor in Paradise finale. We’re gonna give you everything you need from Week 6, Night 1 to get ready for the finale right here so you can get caught up and watch the finale live TONIGHT 9|8c. (Note the special time.)

Changes of Heart: Boy, Do They Hurt

Justin Reich, who arrived in Paradise fairly late, has had no shortage of interest from the women in the house. Jaclyn Swartz invited him on a date, and he says yes…but that was before Cassandra Ferguson arrived. Cassandra had a date card and immediately asked Justin, who said yes to her as well. Then he had to go back to Jaclyn and tell her that he didn’t want to go on her date anymore, which went as horribly as you might expect:

That wasn’t the only change of heart early on in the show: Mikey Tenerelli realized he wasn’t as into Juelia Kinney as he wanted to be, and she left in tears. Juelia had a rough stay in Paradise. Here’s hoping this sweetheart has better luck in the real world.

Is Ashley Iaconetti Still a Virgin?

Why yes, she is, despite our very leading and purposefully provocative header. Or at least it sure seemed that way after Ashley Iaconetti returned from her impromptu Fantasy Suite date with Jared Haibon. They had a nice time, but Jared just wasn’t feeling it, and was forced to break up with her. Again. Commence waterworks:

On the bright side, Ashley later said that she learned a lot about what she wanted in a man, so despite the sobbing here, there’s a bit of a happy ending. You know, long term and such.

The Rose Ceremony of Doom and Sadness and Lots of People Going Home

This one got nuts. Host Chris Harrison upped the tension when he canceled the pre-ceremony cocktail party, so there was no last-minute lobbying to do -- just get a rose from a guy or go home. Here’s a quick cheat sheet on who received whose roses:

Kirk DewindtCarly Waddell

Tanner Tolbert: Jade Roper

Nick PetersonSamantha Steffen

Joshua Albers: Tenley Molzahn

Justin: Cassandra

After that things got a little tricky. Dan Cox felt like he hadn’t made a connection with any of the remaining women, so he opted to give his rose to no one, and instead, just go home. His rose followed suit, as Chris Harrison announced that this rose meant one more woman was headed home.

Then came Mikey. Without Juelia around, was there anyone else he’d made a connection with? Maybe:

Guess not. Ashley Salter called the move “pathetic.” So the list above is the list that made it; if they’re not on the list, they were in a van headed to the airport.

Kirkpocalypse Now

So the remaining couples wake up knowing that the rest of Paradise will be focused on figuring out how to make their relationship work in the real world. For one guy, that pressure was just too much. Kirk told the guys that he was having doubts about Carly, and that he needed to have that painful conversation with her.

Carly has been telling everyone that Kirk is her soulmate and she’s ready to have babies with him and do all the mundane activities couples do, like shop for patio furniture, go on double dates with your significant other’s friends who you don’t really like, or have silent breakfasts together at crowded diners where one of you reads the paper and the other one just kinda sits there, staring around or down, anything to not look at the back of the paper, because that just makes you feel more invisible and I can see you looking at me, young lady STOP JUDGING ME. (Ed. Note: Mundane activities not actually said by Carly.) So yeah, she was not ready for this:

Ugh. That was painful. Kirk didn’t want Carly to leave without hearing more of his explanation, so he followed her around while she was packing. Do not watch this clip if you feel there are few sounds more brutal to hear than a woman breaking into a sob while trying to speak:

Not much to add, other than, again, Ugh.

Will there be more Ugh, or perhaps some Awws in the Bachelor in Paradise finale? Or both? Tune in TONIGHT 9|8c (special time) for the thrilling conclusion of summer’s most amazing show. 

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